SEXUAL INTIMACY
APPROACH
Sexuality is a wonderful gift through which we can create a powerful, deep, and lasting intimacy.
Or, it can be a catalyst for shame, isolation, and fleeting relationships.
To examine and work on understanding one’s sexuality is often not an easy leap for most people to make. There can be many reasons for this, but in a general sense, our societal construct makes it uncomfortable for most of us to communicate openly about our sexuality. In any public media, overt sexual imagery and messages are abundant, while at the same time, communicating a message of sexual repression and shame that can leave us conflicted, confused, ashamed, and ultimately moving toward the isolation of “me” rather the intimacy of “us.”
When this lack of intimacy is from not understanding or accepting our own sexuality it is both a significant loss for our own well being and a continuing source of relationship stress and dysfunction. The feelings of being judged, thought of as different, or feeling like we have to be sexual in ways we don’t want, are all protective emotional responses to the contemporary world we live in.
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So, if you are reading this, you very likely have an interest in your sexuality on some level. As you are continuing to read on, let’s start by establishing some core understanding of the process to help you begin.
SESSION WORK
In the work you will be doing, the counseling process is just like other types of counseling . It takes place in a safe and secure counseling office and through dialog, that explores:
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Current sexual concerns and areas of interest
Beliefs and influences about sexuality
-history
-societal
-religious
-institutional
-workplace
-family
Developing sexual empathy for ourselves and for others
Discovering tools for communication about sexuality
Learning how to embrace our own sexuality
Empowering choice in your sexual activity, partners, and boundaries
My role is as a professional with years of experience in sexual intimacy counseling. Each person is unique. You are unique. This process is about you and working with a counselor who is knowledgeable, objective, non-judgemental, and maintains absolute discretion, allowing you a real opportunity for understanding yourself on a more deeply connected emotional, spiritual, and physical level.
The outcome goal is specific to you, never pre-determined in the direction of a sexuality that is someone else’s construct rather than your own. This is never about you having to be more sexual, or less. We will never depart from what allows you to feel comfortable and create further trust in your intimate relationships. There is nothing about yourself you will lose in this process, but rather it’s the chance to gain a self understanding that allows you to celebrate who you are rather than be ashamed, experience joy rather than sadness, and have healthy connected relationships rather than loneliness.
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My work in this area has been with both men and women of widely varying sexuality, ranging from conservative in religious values, to the sexually free-spirited, to those who incorporate sexuality within their livelihood. In other words, your personal mores, morals, and boundaries are paramount in this process together and that space will never be intruded upon. Furthermore, there is nothing sexually you could ever say that will shock me, cause me to cringe, make me judge you, or compel me to ever tell anyone for any reason about what is your private sexuality.
If any of this strikes a chord with you, please know you are welcome to have an anonymous and introductory conversation to see if this is something you have been looking for.
